Devenir parents : ce qui change à la naissance d’un enfant - Élhée

Becoming parents: what changes when a child is born

The birth of your child has been described to you as wonderful, unique and unforgettable. We didn't lie to you. On the other hand, what we haven't really told you is that becoming parents calls into question almost everything. From your sleeping habits to your relationship, everything changes. At the same time, you have to learn everything; from the first bottles to give, to a new level of patience to find. Eh yes ! The birth of a child is a big upheaval. But, 9 months to become parents, is that really enough?

SUMMARY :

A couple's decision and an act of love

Getting pregnant, having a child, having a baby, becoming parents... If giving life is expressed through multiple expressions, the decision is made together, one-on-one and without external intervention. Wanting a child, but without having found a soul mate, have you resorted to assisted reproduction? The choice to become a parent was therefore made between you and yourself, in the privacy of your heart.

9 months to become parents, is that really enough?

Starting a family and going from two to three (or more) at home is a real upheaval, a storm, but not in a glass of water: in your entire life. So, it's true, you have 9 months to prepare to become parents, together. But is it enough? Will these few months, which pass like a few weeks , allow you to find all the answers to your questions and all the keys to the challenges that await you?

Becoming parents is learned and takes time . So, you can begin your introduction to parenthood from the first weeks of pregnancy by reading books and articles like this one, by welcoming the testimonies of other parents, or by questioning your own for example.

However, it is not impossible that once a baby is born, you will feel helpless. Even in pairs, even carefully prepared, even well surrounded. Here, there is an adage that the Élhée team appreciates for having experienced it: “ You are not born a parent, you become one ” (thanks Françoise Dolto). Also, trust yourself and don't be afraid to move forward hand in hand, to feel your way, to go backwards sometimes , to jump better.

Faced with doubts, cultivate kindness

being both a couple and parents

As a parent, nothing is more normal than doubt. If this hasn't happened to you before, you may need to become familiar with this emotion. “Do we do it like this?” » "Should I take him to the doctor now?" » “Am I doing too much? Or not enough? » “Is my baby happy?” Is he eating/sleeping/drinking/digesting/growing…well? » In short, you understand, it is time to welcome the questions as they come and to trust your instinct as a parent , even new, even inexperienced.

To achieve this, avoid any comparison and do not respond to injunctions . Leave aside what other parents do, what they think, what they say, and how they see things. You are the parents of your child and apart from the opinions that matter to you, only yours are valuable.

At the same time, don't be afraid, let alone ashamed, to ask for help when you feel the need . Your parents, in-laws, friends and the medical staff you work with throughout the first months of your baby's life can advise you.

Finally, to deal with doubts, cultivate kindness towards yourself . Pay attention to your own needs and remember that as a mom and dad, you are just starting out. Becoming parents is a constant learning process that requires knowing how to question oneself and demonstrating self-confidence . As a mother, matrescence is a state in its own right .

Parent-baby relationship: dealing with fatigue and stress

Once your baby is born, you will say to yourself that you have never been tired before. From the outset, the nights are short and the awakenings frequent . Quickly, the attention is permanent and the worry frequent. Omnipresent, fatigue can transform into physical, moral and emotional exhaustion.

Becoming parents and developing treasures of patience

As parents, you will quickly learn that some things are and will remain beyond your control. If baby refuses to sleep, there's not much you can do about it . You can only wait, to be able to sleep, too, or to work. Over time, parenthood will require you to display ever more patience, especially when you have to repeat, repeat and repeat again, or do and redo... without losing patience!

Having a child and working on your versatility

Becoming parents also means learning to do several things at the same time . Rocking and putting away, carrying and working, bottle-feeding and making phone calls... not always by choice and often by necessity. Over the months, you will also discover the art of having to manage work, nursery, canteen and medical appointments in the same day, or even the joy of looking after your child while trying to maintain an independent social life. #multitasking

This is where the unbreakable bottle is particularly interesting ! You let it go, it rolls . Y ou drop it, it bounces back . And if you want, baby can keep himself busy by playing with his hood.


Discover parenthood and become organizational kings

The birth of a baby is accompanied by the delivery of a precise diary. Indeed, if you can, take advantage of the pregnancy period to sleep and live as you wish. Once your baby is born, there will be almost as many appointments as wake-ups , not to mention visits from your loved ones. In addition, you will have to take into account meal and nap times , and look for the “kids friendly” label in the restaurant, or at your vacation spot .

Becoming parents and finding your place within the couple that has become a family

When you moved in together, it may have taken you a while to find your rhythm, your balance as a couple. Having a child will call everything into question , at least momentarily. Schedules are no longer the same, neither are your obligations and your concerns. Besides, since you became parents, you have been different. More tired, more worried, you also have much less privacy . To transition peacefully from couple mode to family mode, some set aside one evening per week or one weekend per month , while others prefer to take a few minutes each day, during a nap for example . It's up to you to find your new way of working.

5 parental qualities you will soon be able to brag about

9 months to become parents
  • Observation

From the day your child is born, you will develop an extremely precise sense of observation (and attention). No movement, no breathing, then, later, no action or movement will escape your vigilance.

  • Listening

Like Superwoman, from the first moments, you will be able to perceive breathing and recognize your baby's cries, wherever you are. This will especially be the case at night, when he is lying alone in his bed.

  • Creativity

A mandatory donation with a baby! Because you want to make him laugh, distract him or distract him from a big tantrum, but also because you have forgotten his blanket or diaper bag, you will have to be creative in many situations. Comics, storyteller, singer… the life of an artist is yours!

  • Flexibility

Personality, needs, communication or exceptional circumstances, parenthood will show you all the colors and you will have to adapt to avoid excess stress and move forward.

  • And motor skills!

On the one hand, you will learn how to gently put on a bodysuit over your head and secure pressure with one hand. On the other, you will know how to screw the bottle ring with two fingers and support baby in his bath with one hand. You'll also spend a lot more time crouching on a mat exploring and playing. This is the development of mobility .

The experience of parenthood offers everyone the opportunity to enrich their range of roles to play. Lover, parent, athlete or professional in a particular field, each facet combines with the others to create a whole, which makes the richness of your personality.

The difficulty lies in finding a balance that gives you the opportunity to juggle these multiple hats and responsibilities while remaining a fulfilled, happy and peaceful parent on a daily basis.

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