"Daddy, how do you make babies?" The little question may have become famous thanks to the great milkman, but it's no less complex when it comes to answering it. A complexity that ultimately extends to the entire sphere of conception, including for parents. The cornerstone of birth, once the baby is on the way, the sexual act becomes more complicated, from perception to practice. Bodily changes for the mother, fears of hurting the baby for the father and a joint fear of inducing childbirth - these are the beliefs, doubts and questions we'll try to decipher in this article.
CONTENTS:
- Why does sex during pregnancy raise so many questions?
- Sexuality and pregnancy: stop the myths
- Are there any contraindications to sexual intercourse during pregnancy?
- Sex during pregnancy: questions about baby
- Sex during pregnancy: questions for the couple
- What should I do if I have any doubts or problems?
Why does sex during pregnancy raise so many questions?
There are dozens, perhaps hundreds, of reasons why sexuality can become complicated during pregnancy and beyond.
From an ethnological point of view, beliefs and cultures have a huge influence on the perception of sexual relations in a couple expecting a child. In some cases, sex is favorable to fetal development. In other cases, continued sexual activity during pregnancy is potentially dangerous for both mother and child.
Religions also have their influences, as does the society in which we live.
Sexuality and pregnancy also raise theambivalence between libido and maternity, the sexual act for pleasure or procreation, the perception of women and their roles, and other intimacy-related taboos.
Sexuality and pregnancy: stop the myths
As future parents, especially of a first baby, it's normal to have questions. However, when it comes to sexuality, unless your doctor says otherwise, you can resume your activities.
- The risk of miscarriage following sexual relations is almost zero. With no contraindications from your doctor, and if your pregnancy is progressing normally, you can continue to have sex without risk.
- Sexual intercourse is not likely to trigger premature delivery as long as your pregnancy is progressing normally and intercourse is gentle, especially in the last trimester.
- The penis can't touch or hurt baby during the act.regardless of its size. Throughout pregnancy, the fetus is protected by the amniotic fluid, placenta and cervix.
- Orgasm is not likely to disturb your babyeven if it causes uterine contractions. In fact, it's sometimes compared to a baby's Jacuzzi.
Are there any contraindications to sexual intercourse during pregnancy?
Nevertheless, for your own good and that of your baby, in some cases you may have to give up active sexuality for the time being. This is particularly the case if you have a placenta previa (placed too low in the uterus), which increases the risk of haemorrhage.
If the water sac is weakened, cracked or punctured, the risk of infection is too great. Similarly, in the event ofgenital infection, mycosis orSTI (sexually transmitted infection), intercourse is contraindicated.
An open cervix, bleeding of any kind and frequency, previous miscarriages and the risk of premature delivery should also be considered.
Often, when sexual relations are discouraged or forbidden during pregnancy, only vaginal penetration is concerned. Fortunately, there are many other ways of making love, of taking and giving pleasure to your partner. Pregnancy, if you wish and feel so, can be an opportunity to explore a new sensuality. Oral sex, caresses, mutual masturbation... if you feel like it, and only if you do, now's the time to try it all.
Sex during pregnancy: questions about baby
Does the fetus experience orgasm?
The answer is yes! But not as such. Because the baby is fully connected to its mother throughout pregnancy, and because an orgasm triggers a number of physical and physiological reactions, your baby will feel it. Accelerated heart rate and breathing, pelvic floor contractions and the secretion of dopamine, endorphin and oxytocin by the brain are all perceptible in utero. But rest assured, baby doesn't think in terms of sexual relations, but rather, perhaps, of sensory fireworks and well-being.
Can orgasm be dangerous for the baby?
In very rare cases, orgasm can cause unwanted uterine contractions. This situation is usually anticipated by your doctor, who will have prescribed rest and a certain degree of abstinence for all or part of the pregnancy.
In most cases, a female orgasm is more likely to result in an extra supply of oxygen and nutrients for the baby, who experiences this moment of maternal fulfillment as a kind of massage.
Can the sex of an unborn baby be influenced by the parents' sexual preferences?
No, your sexual preferences do not determine the sex of your unborn child. The baby's sex is determined when the egg is fertilized by a spermatozoon, thanks to the 23rd chromosome, X or Y.
However, according to scientific studies carried out in the 1960s by Dr. Landrum Brewer Shettles, the timing of intercourse may be important. According to him, Y sperm cells (which produce a boy) are faster and less resistant. Intercourse closer to the ovulation period would therefore be more likely to result in the birth of a boy. Sexual positions favoring deep penetration could also benefit the Y sperm, enabling it to reach the egg more easily.
Is it possible to have intercourse right up to term?
From a medical point of view, there's no time limit on sexual relations during pregnancy. However, fluctuating hormones, fatigue and the growing size of your mother's womb may mean that you need to adapt your sexuality, especially in the third trimester.
Can making love trigger childbirth?
The majority of observations suggest thatneither the frequency nor the intensity of intercourse is a factor in triggering labor. In 2007, three researchers from the University of Malaysia demonstrated, using a sample of 200 pregnant women in their 3rd trimester, that the rate of spontaneous induction of labour remained the same whether or not they had sexual intercourse with their partner.
Does making love increase the risk of miscarriage?
Once again, the answer is no. Sexual intercourse does not increase the risk of miscarriage, since the baby is well protected in the uterus by the amniotic fluid, placenta and mucous plug.
Sex during pregnancy: questions for the couple
Is orgasm easier to achieve when pregnant?
Without being systematically stronger or more present, yes, orgasm is easier to achieve and often more intense during pregnancy for the simple and biological reason that the entire genital and pelvic region is gorged with blood. The vulva and vagina are therefore much more sensitive to stimulation than in normal times.
Is it normal to have many new fantasies during pregnancy?
To the question of whether it's normal to have new fantasies and even just fantasies, the answer is yes, whatever the period.
To the question of whether pregnancy generates more fantasies and whether these are different, the answer is: it depends. Because your libido fluctuates enormously throughout the nine months you spend expecting your child, and because your body and your relationship to it change too, you may go through different periods when you're very excited with lots of fantasies in mind, or not interested in sex at all.
Which sexual positions are best for which trimesters?
In the first trimester, fatigue and nausea may force you to change the frequency or duration of your intercourse. When it comes to positions, anything goes, bearing in mind that your breasts may be more sensitive than usual, or even painful.
The second trimester is undoubtedly when sexuality is at its most unbridled. Physiologically, the body lends itself to it: the vagina, clitoris and breasts are receptive to the slightest caress, and female orgasms are often more intense than before. Despite this, your belly is starting to round out and you need to adapt. The spooning and doggy-style positions are ideal, with your partner standing behind you. Andromache also encourages you to straddle him, if you're comfortable with the idea.
In the third trimester, if the urge is still there, there's no reason why you shouldn't continue your lovemaking. But keep your comfort in mind, and avoid back pain and overstretching your abdominal muscles. Try out the lotus, thesquare or theanvil, and enjoy a little more.
When I'm pregnant, why do I sometimes cry after an orgasm?
It's hard to give a real reason for crying after an orgasm or after making love. If female sexuality is intimately linked to emotions and hormones, the brain is no stranger to it either (in fact, there's talk of neuroscience). A crossroads that sometimes gives rise to surprising reactions. Spontaneous tears that may occur during pregnancy, but also outside it.
Do physical changes during pregnancy affect desire?
Yes, and that's normal. From the announcement of your pregnancy to the birth of your child, there are many stages, all more or less new and all very different.
A first quarter marked by nausea and fatigue, where sex takes a back seat. A much more fulfilling second trimester, when libido soars. A third quarter in which fatigue makes a comeback, accompanied by stress, back and leg pain in particular, and an increasingly bulky belly.
These many changes impact your vision of yourself, your feelings and your sexual desire in one way or another. Taking time for yourself and listening to your body will help you get through the biggest moments of doubt.
The father-to-be's desires can also change, and may be heightened by pregnancy and the beauty of his partner's new curves, or on the contrary, disappear for fear of hurting the baby.
In each case, listening, patience and tenderness towards each other will enable you to envisage a more serene intimate reunion when the time comes.
How to live with, explain and accept the absence of desire during pregnancy?
For some couples, desire can quickly fade after theannouncement of the arrival of a child, and remain absent. If the parents-to-be are on the same wavelength, a new kind of intimacy develops over the months, as they await the return of physical relations post-partum. If this doesn't happen, misunderstandings and tensions can arise, complicating relations between an expectant father and a mother-to-be who's experiencing a certain amount of guilt. Here again, exchange, listening and patience are among the keys to a harmonious relationship, even in the midst of the tumult of pregnancy.
Can sex toys be used during pregnancy?
On the contrary, sex toys are by no means forbidden to pregnant women. Anything that feels good and relaxes - like the pregnant woman's Kamasutra - is welcome during pregnancy. As a precaution, however, it is advisable to avoid vibrating objects (so put your duckling back in the cupboard) whose ultrasound could have effects on the foetus. If necessary,lubricant can also be used. Just remember to practise good hygiene every time you use it.
Are mycoses more common in pregnant women?
Yes, and that's normal. Due to the many hormonal upheavals women experience during pregnancy (high levels of human chorionic gonadotropin [HCG], progesterone and estrogen in particular), vaginal flora is often disturbed, creating a favorable breeding ground for fungal infections.
If you experience itching, pain or heavy, abnormal and/or odorous discharge, don't worry or feel embarrassed. However, consult your doctor immediately.
What should I do if I have any doubts or problems?
If you have the slightest doubt about a practice, a gesture, a habit, if you have questions about sexuality during pregnancy, if you're in doubt, if you feel bad, if you feel guilty, or if you feel pain during or just after intercourse, talk to your midwife or gynecologist. While they may not be able to understand all your emotions - you may find it hard to understand yourself - they will reassure you about your health and that of your baby.
