If there are announcements that disrupt a family's daily life, the arrival of a baby is one of them. An announcement that is all the more important when a child is already present. A child who, unlike his parents, did not necessarily want to see the family grow. To prepare for the arrival of a baby in a family and ensure that everything goes as smoothly as possible, Élhée advises you to give your eldest child time and to anticipate. But not only.
SUMMARY :
- When to announce the arrival of a little brother or sister?
- Take the time during pregnancy to anticipate changes
- The day after the birth, organize the meeting
- Encourage the brotherly bond
- New baby in the family: a regression phase well known to pediatricians
- What about jealousy then? How to manage it?
When to announce the arrival of a little brother or sister?
For children, the time seems much longer than for parents. There is therefore no point in announcing your pregnancy too early. Especially since you may prefer to wait until you are past 12 weeks of pregnancy to reassure yourself. A good benchmark? The first really visible curves of your belly, around 4 to 5 months .
In terms of form, prefer a simple announcement, as a family , so that your child feels included in what is – even if he or she is not yet aware of it – a major event. Choose natural words and positive formulas to share the message of good news , something light and exciting to look forward to , like a party.
Smile, cuddle your child and trivialize the thing as much as possible to prevent him from feeling this birth like a revolution from which he has something to fear.
If you have multiple children , it's a little different. The older ones have already experienced this situation and it is not impossible that they sense you coming from afar with your ad 😊. In this case, imagine a game, like a big riddle , and see who will figure it out first.
Take the time during pregnancy to anticipate changes
You know, the arrival of a baby will change many things. Free time, organization, autonomy... your first child will have to grow up a little more quickly. His role in the family will evolve: from an only child he will become the eldest , the big brother or the big sister of the new baby. In a sibling group, it is the youngest who will lose his place to take the middle one . And this evolution, whatever it may be, is rarely simple. Also, the time of pregnancy is precious to anticipate questions and reactions.
These few months are more than ever an opportunity to talk , to explain , to create a sort of birth bubble and to strengthen the bond between your child and you, but also between your child and the baby to come. This new pregnancy gives you the opportunity to experience things differently and to imagine a new motherhood, with your child.
Also, involve him at his level. Offer to talk to the baby through your belly , sing him lullabies or feel his kicks when he gives them. Go choose the future cuddly toy together and let him have the last word. The important thing is that your little one slowly understands that his place is changing, but that he retains all your love . A baby is coming, but you will take care of him with the same attention and, together, you will be able to do new things, big things.
The day after the birth, organize the meeting
As you know, D-day risks being disrupted. You will not have time to take care of your child and the father will also be rather busy. If you can, ask for help from grandparents or, failing that, from friends with whom your little one feels completely confident.
Beforehand, explain what is going to happen (“when the baby is born, you are going to spend a day or two with grandpa and grandma and then we will all go home together”). This way, your child will feel less stressed and rushed.
Then, organize the meeting in complete privacy , simply in the presence of your spouse and your children. Moreover, if the oldest is already at home when you come back from the maternity ward or if he comes home at the same time as you, he will be even more proud to welcome his brother or sister.
Élhée, transmissible baby bottles to share
A meeting which will perhaps be the occasion for a first bottle? If your child is old enough to understand, offer to share one of their Élhée bottles with the newborn and, why not, help you give it to them.
Soft, anti-break and therefore very safe, compatible with the dishwasher and even the microwave , but also durable and healthy, because they are made from quality materials such as medical grade silicone (guaranteed without microplastic migration ), Élhée BibRonds are very durable. They can therefore be passed on to siblings without any problems.
Moreover, the Élhée bottle is not only transferable between brothers and sisters , it is also an evolving bottle . Eh yes ! Your eldest can use it as a small pot for his purees, while your newborn can use our birth bottle with the “extra-slow” flow (XS) or “slow” flow (S) teats for drinking. her milk.
And to cover all situations, the BibRond also fits Avent and Medela breast pumps and bottle warmers , in addition to transforming into a training cup thanks to the anti-leak silicone suction spout.
Encourage the brotherly bond
In the same way that motherhood or fatherhood are not innate states, the bond between brothers and sisters is built, little by little . It is in particular the relationships between parents and between parents and children which are the essence of this alchemy.
In a serene home, kindness and brotherly relationships are natural. Also, as far as possible, it is up to you, as parents, to ensure the establishment, cultivation and maintenance of a gentle atmosphere, conducive to exchanges, attachment and creation. beautiful memories .
3 tips for preparing for the arrival of a baby if your eldest is less than two years old
Even if he is still little and even if he does not yet speak very well, your child understands everything, especially if it comes from you. So you can talk to her about the upcoming baby, just making sure to be clear and pragmatic.
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Use simple, graphic language like: “Mommy has a baby in her belly” instead of “Mommy is pregnant.” As the pregnancy progresses, share with him tangible progress such as the baby's first movements. Tell him that the baby is moving and if he wants, put his hand on your belly to let him feel it.
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Play dolls with your child to help them “materialize” the baby. Carry her, cuddle her, give her a bottle, give her kisses... So many gestures that he will gradually be able to accomplish "for real" with his unborn brother or sister.
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Make time for him, for his questions, for his needs and for his emotions . Put yourself in his place, the center of all attention until then, he gets the spotlight stolen by a baby he didn't ask for. Even if, soon, he will love her with all his heart, listening, love and patience are always welcome.
3 tips for preparing for the arrival of a baby if your eldest is over two years old
With an older child, fears and questions are likely to be more frequent. Certain supports such as books and photos can help you prepare for the arrival of your baby in the best possible conditions.
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Read and tell stories about being born into siblings and being a big brother or sister. Knowing reassures and allows you to plan ahead, even for the youngest.
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Reassure your child(ren) of the eternal love you have for them . Tell them that your mother's heart is infinitely big and that your feelings are never divided, but multiplied by all the little joys that each one brings you.
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Talk to him about his own birth , now is the time. For example, show her photos of motherhood and her first days or months. He will thus understand more easily that he has been, is and will remain the treasure of the family, just like the baby who is arriving.
In any case, whatever the age of your eldest child or children, take advantage of your pregnancy and your maternity leave to spend a lot of time with your family . As far as possible and because you will still be less present and available once baby is born, also take the opportunity to pass on the day-to-day baton to your partner (dressing, brushing teeth, meals, bedtime story... he too knows do all that, it's time he realized it 😉).
New baby in the family: a regression phase well known to pediatricians
Since baby was born, your eldest has started wetting the bed again, sucking his thumb or refusing to fall asleep alone . This is more often the case if your children are close in age and this is normal. Pediatricians speak of a regression phase.
Generally short-lived, this very common period only exists because the biggest ones seek to attract all the attention to themselves again . In reality, they need to make sure that their parents still love them as much as before.
The best attitude, even if it is not always easy to adopt, especially since the postpartum period is naturally delicate for you too , is to play down the drama and let go of these little setbacks. Don't feel guilty either , your first born just needs a little time to find his place and ensure that everything is going well, despite this huge family change.
What about jealousy then? How to manage it?
Here again, in siblings, especially new siblings, the feeling of jealousy is normal . Because baby takes up a lot of space, because he attracts everyone's attention and especially because he takes up a large part of your time, your older child may feel jealous and even a little angry with to him.
If we know today that it is useless to ask a child to love another ("give him kisses", "look how nice a baby is"), respect must, as for him, to be appropriate. We do not hit, we do not bite, we do not push and we do not ignore either . Over time, the rule applies in both directions. In the same way, each child has the right to his private space , his toys and his moments with mom and dad. In this way, tensions, if they exist, should gradually ease.
And then, rest assured, not content with starting by lending each other their Élhée bottles, your children will quickly be old enough to exchange their best tricks, enough to make you lose your patience quickly!
