- Breastfeeding is a gift of self: glory to the mother
- Spouse: define your best role with baby!
- You're the family's essential technical back-up
- Play an active role in your child's breastfeeding
- As soon as possible, lighten your couple's mental load
It's undeniable that breastfeeding creates a bubble of intimacy between mother and child. But on closer inspection, it seems possible to penetrate this bubble and share your baby's feeds with two or even three other parents. From encouragement to logistical support and bottle-feeding management, the second parent's role can take different forms depending on his or her desire and involvement throughout the baby's first months of life. Dad, second mom, second dad or co-parent, between patience, anticipation, support and admiration, discover how to practice shared breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding is a gift of self: glory to the mother
Breastfeeding is not a trivial act. After the upheaval of the birth of a child, breastfeeding exclusively implies a real gift of self for the mother.
Day and night, tired or not, she's available. For months on end, she pays close attention to her diet, favoring galactogenic products and avoiding many others. At home, with friends, in the family, in public places, everywhere, she assumes the (sometimes controversial) choice to breastfeed her child. In her body and in her privacy, she also acceptsdiscomfort and sometimes pain, for the well-being and health of her baby. The breastfeeding mother is a fighter! Even so, you can help her by being there for her.
- Support her in her choices as a mother, accompany her on her journey, adore her for what she does and comfort her in moments of doubt.
- Give her moral and physical support when she is tired, has difficulty putting the baby to the breast or is in pain... Always be present, attentive and available, especially as she may not show you how much she needs it.
- Day after day, surround them with protection and love. Form an unshakeable triad, defending their choices and their way of doing things, especially when it comes to sensitive subjects like breast-feeding in public.
Spouses: define your best role with baby!
When a baby is born, the whole family organization is turned upside down. Sometimes it's hard to find your place between the young mother and her newborn. You may feel frustrated, misunderstood or left out. Discuss and test different configurations together! You'll probably end up finding your feet and creating harmony at home.
So, when it comes to shared breastfeeding, the best role you can play is the one you give yourself. See for yourself where you feel best and when you feel most useful to your family. Don't underestimate or limit yourself. [su_highlight background="#FCF3F0"]Just because you don't breastfeed doesn't mean you can't breastfeed[/su_highlight].
You're the family's essential technical back-up
Never let anyone doubt it! When your wife is breastfeeding, she's totally focused on feeding her baby, helping him suckle and making him as comfortable as possible, often to the point of forgetting her own. Fortunately, you're there to help and provide the logistical support she needs.
- Make breastfeeding more comfortable: offer her the right chair, bring her a soft blanket, go for a walk and find the best places for her to breastfeed without being disturbed...
- Bring her breastfeeding accessories (extra pillows, soft nightlight for night feeds, diaper...).
- Imagine a little snack so she can eat and drink (especially at the beginning, when breastfeeding is very frequent, and even more so if baby takes her time to suckle). The breast milk is largely composed of waterso the breast-feeding mother needs to hydrate regularly.
Shared breastfeeding: play an active role with your child
You can't imagine all the things you can do to get more and more involved in breastfeeding your child, even without breastfeeding.
At night, bring mother and child together for feedings
When your little one wakes up to feed, go and get him from his bed and bring him to your bed, next to your partner. This will give him time to wake up and get ready before you welcome him into your arms.
During the day, keep an eye on the clock to know when to feed him. If you can understand your newborn's physiological rhythm, you'll be able (perhaps not always, but sometimes) to anticipate his need for milk, his cries, and thus avoid a number of stressful and complicated situations.
Use skin-to-skin contact to keep your baby patient
Mom isn't immediately available, or baby's a little early for his meal? As a result, he cries his eyes out and cries himself to sleep in your arms.
Play the calming card and try skin-to-skin contact. It may well be that, snuggled up next to you, your child will calm down enough to let mom in or settle down. So, who's the hero of the day?
Take over with breast milk bottles
For a second role worthy of the first, take full control of your child's breastfeeding by feeding him bottles of breast milk! L'mixed feeding is a great solution for parents who want to share their child's meals.
How do you go about it? Mom prepares her breast pump, pumps a little milk every day and stores it in the fridge or freezer. When you need it, you gently defrost the volume of milk you need, or warm it up in a bottle warmer.
A bottle designed for mixed breastfeeding
What's more, for your baby's health but also for the pleasure of all of you, Élhée has designed a feeding bottle that's as healthy as the milk drink it contains. Made from medical-grade silicone for a soft feel, and fitted with a physiological teat to encourage sucking and digestion, our bibRond eco-designed and made in Franceis the innovative design of an emotional object that can be kept for a long time. Perhaps you'll be the next to try it out?
As soon as possible, lighten your couple's mental load
Upheaval, revolution, earthquake... There are never enough superlatives to describe the arrival (eventful or otherwise) of a baby. Desired and sometimes long-awaited, it immediately and for a long time captures all your attention, and all your energy too. So, on a regular basis, or at least in the early days, don't hesitate to put off until tomorrow anything that isn't urgent, to put things into perspective and release the pressure, together.
- When the opportunity arises, take the lead in managing meals and sharing household chores, prepare larger quantities to reheat and, why not, use your 4 a.m. insomnia to concoct a delicious breakfast for her.
- Drop your other children off for a few days with friends or their grandparents, and take advantage of a little rest to organize things calmly, just the three of you.
- Dad or co-parent, give yourself special time with your baby, apart from feedings. Give your baby a bath, or take the two of you out in the stroller while Mum rests. It's a great way to establish and strengthen the budding bond between you.
Whatever your way of getting organized, indulging yourself or taking the pressure off, don't hesitate. As the years go by, opportunities won't always present themselves when you need them! What's more, you'll be all the more inclined to enjoy the joys of parenthood, to marvel and find together the beautiful balance that will make your life.
Pregnancy, childbirth and the breastfeeding period often modify the couple's intimate relationships. Sometimes harmonious and even exacerbated, sometimes non-existent and avoided, depending on the wishes and feelings of each partner. Once again, take the time to talk things over and express your feelings: be patient with each other and everything will be fine!
