Benevolence: how to trust yourself as a parent - Élhée

Caring: how to trust yourself as a parent

ARTICLE SUMMARY :

  • To be confident, be kind to yourself
  • Becoming a parent alongside your child
  • 5 confidence-boosting tips

Ever since your child was born, you've been constantly adjusting your daily routine, your limits and the way you talk. It's normal to experience moments of doubt and questioning. However, when uncertainty turns to hesitation, perplexity or apprehension, everything becomes more complicated. Fortunately, learning to be kind to yourself is one of the keys to moving forward and trusting yourself more easily as a parent.

To be confident, be kind to yourself

Firstly, because taking care of a baby requires a lot of energy. So never feel guilty about taking time for yourself, or sleeping whenever you can. Feeling good in your body, in tune with your life, helps you to make the right decisions and feel confident.

Secondly, because being good to yourself gives you the right to make mistakes. And it's by accepting to make mistakes, by accepting to do your best, that you learn to discover yourself, to tame your new role and to gain confidence in yourself, alongside your child.

Demystifying the role of the "good parent" is perhaps the first thing to do. A good parent is undoubtedly a parent who loves his or her child, who looks after his or her health, well-being, peace of mind and safety. With his or her qualities, history, flaws and faults. At no time do you have to be perfect. Unless your name is Mary Poppins.

Becoming a parent alongside your child

"You're not born a parent, you become one". Rarely has a phrase rung so true. It's true, there's no lesson or magic recipe for becoming a parent. You learn gradually, over time and through experience.

Like all parents, you ask yourself questions and make mistakes. But you get to know yourself and your child. By watching him. By rocking him. By dressing him. By sleeping. Slowly, you learn to recognize his cries. You know what he likes to eat and what kind of music he wants to listen to. But because things change over the months, you have doubts and start all over again.

To succeed, you need to have confidence in yourself, trust your intuition and listen only to the little voice that tells you you're on the right path.

5 confidence-boosting tips

Trusting yourself and recognizing your value

Now is the time to listeverything you've achieved and what you do well with your child. Write down your strengths. Remember what he or she loved about you. Instead of always praising other parents' successes,put your best foot forward . Self-confidence isn't innate; you have to work at it.

Let go and distance yourself from criticism

Some points of view and feedback are interesting, but not all. To gain confidence, sort out the grandmotherly advice, the stories that belong only to those who've lived them, and the genuine, caring tips.

Take care of yourself and prioritize your efforts

Get some rest, sleep as soon as possible, get moving, eat well and, if you can, set up a hierarchy in your "To do list" for days of emergency or discouragement. Starting the dishwasher or folding the laundry can wait until you've finished playing with your baby (unless there's a shortage of plates or underwear, which really doesn't happen very often!).

For self-confidence, give yourself the right to make mistakes

Every day your child learns. And so are you. Becoming a parent. And to learn well, you have to make mistakes. It's okay if you're late for an appointment, or if your child stains his pyjamas on the road and you don't have the money to change them. Trust yourself and take responsibility for the way you handle everyday life.

Building confidence and staying true to yourself

Parenthood is not a contest. Ếbeing a parent is lived and felt day by day. You don't have to be a perfect mother, firstly because your child doesn't need to be, and secondly because the way others look at you takes second place, or third place, or maybe even fourth place and more, to your child's happiness.

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