You've just welcomed a baby or you have new parents around you, so you've probably already heard of discharge crying. While the term may seem straightforward, its origins often remain mysterious, as does the best way to soothe it. To help you better understand it and get through the sometimes hectic end of the day, Élhée takes you on a compassionate exploration of evening crying.
Summary
- Evening, a sensitive time for all babies (and their parents)
- What exactly are discharge tears?
- 10 tips for dealing with baby's nighttime sobbing
- The evening bottle: your best calming ritual
- How not to stress about your baby crying?
Evening, a sensitive time for all babies (and their parents)
Many babies cry in the evening . The day is coming to an end, there has been a lot of stimulation, fatigue has built up, and so have emotions. Some have spent time at daycare, met other children, discovered new sounds, new smells...
Once calm returns to the home, their need for closeness grows and they seek to release the tension of the day . For adults, the end of the day also brings its share of fatigue and mental load; a state that children perceive.
How, then, could the meeting of these two sensitivities not sometimes lead to a form of externalization? An excess that babies, before having learned to speak, can only express by crying.
What exactly are discharge tears?
Generally, discharge crying is intense and difficult to console . Especially since it doesn't have any "usual" cause. Your baby isn't hungry, his diaper isn't dirty, and he doesn't seem to be in pain. And for good reason, his crying doesn't reflect bodily discomfort, but rather a need to evacuate .
Crying as an emotional outlet
Every day, your child makes new discoveries: light, sun, rain, sounds, movements, faces, and new situations. So many emotions, surprises, and sometimes stress, not always easy to manage.
Crying then becomes a natural way of decompressing , like a valve to release sensory overstimulation and regain a state of balance. In fact, you may function in the same way when you are upset.
How to recognize and differentiate discharge crying?
Although they can last from a few minutes to an hour, they often appear at regular times , mostly at the end of the day , sometimes every evening for several weeks, and are accompanied by movements, tension or a shifty gaze.
But, the difference with crying from hunger or discomfort is that your baby does not calm down after drinking a bottle, or putting on a clean diaper .
Thus, discharge crying is above all a means of expression. Welcoming it without trying at all costs to stop it helps baby feel heard, contained, and secure.
Between digestion and emotions, these tears that do not say the same thing
As you know, infant colic also manifests itself, more often in the evening, by intense crying that is so difficult to soothe . But, unlike discharge crying, it is accompanied by painful abdominal cramps , which manifest as bent knees, a red face and a hard stomach. Even in your arms, rocked and helped by his pacifier, baby does not find real relief until these cramps have passed.
These episodes begin around the 3rd week of life and disappear spontaneously around the age of 3 to 4 months, and may be linked to digestive immaturity or excess air swallowed during breastfeeding.
🍼 The little Élhée extra: equipped with an anti-colic valve on the teat and a soft medical silicone body , Élhée anti-colic bottles limit air ingestion during feeding and thus accompany babies from birth towards the serenity of their milk meals.
Discharge crying, until what age?
Most parents observe the first discharge cries on average between 2 and 6 weeks, which tend, like colic, to gradually decrease around the age of 3 or 4 months .
And while their frequency and intensity vary greatly from one baby to another, their disappearance is always a sign of emotional maturation and learning, for your baby, self-regulation.
10 tips for dealing with baby's nighttime sobbing
Evening crying can be difficult, worrying and even exhausting , but remember that your child is primarily looking to release the tension accumulated during the day and to feel your presence to reassure him. The Élhée team therefore offers you its best solutions to support him.
- Create a calming bubble – Dim the lights, speak softly, reduce noise: these little sensory treats help the nervous system slow down and feel safe.
- Skin-to-skin contact, a magical reflex – Nothing soothes like direct contact. The warmth and scent of your skin release oxytocin, the feel-good hormone, and naturally regulate breathing.
- Carrying, between proximity and movement – Against you, baby rediscovers the rocking he knew in utero. His crying diminishes, his breathing calms down, his heart rate regulates.
- Warm bath or massage – Water or touch relaxes, soothes, and restores a calm connection with the body. A gentle, but not forceful, massage can help release accumulated tension.
- Comforting sucking – Breastfeeding, pacifier or bottle : sucking is not just a feeding reflex, it is also an emotional soother.
- Rocking, voice, gaze – Slow rocking, whispering, sharing a look... Repeated micro-gestures that create sensory continuity and reassure your baby.
- Swaddling for the little ones – Some babies find swaddling to be like the comfort of their mother's womb. When used correctly, it can reduce startles and calm fussing.
- Soothe the senses – Choose soft, battery-free toys that stimulate one or two senses at a time. Turn off screens in the room and maintain age-appropriate wake times and nap quality.
- Focus on calm and regularity – Busy days tire babies and adults alike. Try to reduce visits, maintain a steady rhythm, and smooth transitions before bedtime.
- Never leave your baby to cry alone – Prolonged crying exhausts and does not help your baby. On the contrary, it increases their cortisol (stress hormone) levels and their feelings of insecurity. When they cry, stay close to them, breathe slowly, place a hand on their tummy and speak to them in a whisper: your calm becomes theirs.
The evening bottle: your best calming ritual
Bottle feeding (or breastfeeding) time is not only a time for nutrition, it is also a strong sensory and emotional landmark , a space where baby finds you and fully benefits from your warmth, your gaze and your familiar voice.
At Élhée, we designed the Bib Rond to extend this softness. Its rounded design like the breast , its 100% healthy soft medical silicone and the different flow rates of its physiological teats (XS > L) offer all babies a natural feeding experience that respects their own rhythm.
Enough to create a perfect moment to get together and gently close another beautiful and great day.
How not to stress about your baby crying?
Every parent has at one time or another felt overwhelmed and even helpless when faced with their baby's repeated crying. These are difficult times, especially when there seems to be no solution. Yet, crying is part of a child's emotional development : it's their way of releasing tension. And while your presence, your arms, your voice, are often enough to soothe them, sometimes the tears take time to stop.
In this case, breathe and take a break if necessary . Pass the baton to dad, your parents, close friends, isolate yourself for a few minutes in another room and show kindness to yourself , and therefore to him.
By the way, did you know that some babies, more sensitive than others, need even more closeness, rocking, and contact? They are sometimes called BABIs for babies with intense needs . If you think this is the case for your child, carrying, skin-to-skin contact, and very regular rhythms of life can become real allies.
And if, despite everything, the crying persists, intensifies or is accompanied by unusual signs (fever, eating disorders, extreme fatigue, etc.), never hesitate to consult. Midwives, pediatricians, PMI ( Maternal and Child Protection Centers throughout France ) and parental associations are there to listen to you, reassure you, and give you other keys.
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