Démystifier le sexe pendant la grossesse : une FAQ - Élhée

Demystifying sex during pregnancy: an FAQ

Daddy, how do we make babies?” » If the little question became famous thanks to the big slag, it remains no less complex when it comes to answering it. A complexity which ultimately extends to the entire sphere of conception, including for parents. The cornerstone of birth, once a baby is on the way, the sexual act becomes complicated, from its perception to its practice . Bodily changes for the mother, fears of hurting the baby for the father and joint fear of triggering childbirth, so many beliefs, doubts and questions that we will try to decipher in this article.


Why does sex during pregnancy raise so many questions?

There are dozens, maybe hundreds, of reasons why sex becomes complicated during pregnancy and afterward.

From an ethnological point of view, beliefs and cultures have a huge influence on the perception of sexual relations in couples expecting a child . In certain cases, sex would be favorable to the development of the fetus. In others, continuing sexual activity during pregnancy would be potentially dangerous for the mother or her child.

Religions also have their influences, as does the society in which we live.

Also, sexuality and pregnancy awaken all the existing ambivalence between libido and motherhood , sexual act for pleasure or for procreation , perception of women and their roles, as well as other taboos linked to intimacy.

Sexuality and pregnancy: stop preconceived ideas

As future parents, especially of a first baby, it is normal to ask questions. However, in matters of sexuality, unless contraindicated by your doctor, you can resume your activities.

  • The risk of miscarriage following sexual intercourse is almost zero . Without contraindications from your doctor and if your pregnancy is progressing normally, you can continue sexual activity without risk.
  • Having sexual intercourse is not likely to trigger premature labor as long as your pregnancy is progressing normally and the intercourse is gentle, especially in the last trimester.
  • The penis cannot touch or hurt the baby during the act , regardless of its size. Throughout pregnancy, the fetus is protected by the amniotic fluid, the placenta and the cervix.
  • Orgasm is not likely to disturb your baby , even if it causes uterine contractions. We sometimes compare it to a baby jacuzzi.

When pregnant, are there any contraindications to sexual intercourse?

Despite everything, for your own good and that of your baby, in certain cases you will have to temporarily give up active sexuality. This is particularly the case if you have placenta previa (placed too low in the uterus) which increases the risk of hemorrhage.

If the water bag is weakened, cracked or pierced , the risk of infection is too great. Likewise, in case of genital infection , mycosis or STI (sexually transmitted infection), sexual intercourse is contraindicated.

An open cervix , bleeding , regardless of its frequency and abundance, and previous miscarriages should also make you give up, as well as a risk of premature birth .

Often, when sexual intercourse is discouraged or prohibited during pregnancy, only vaginal penetration is concerned. Fortunately, there are many other ways to make love, to take and give pleasure to your partner. Pregnancy, if you want it and if you feel that way, can be an opportunity to explore a new sensuality. Oral sex, caresses, mutual masturbation... if you feel like it and only in this case, now is the time to try everything.

Sex during pregnancy: questions around baby

Does the fetus feel orgasm?

The answer is yes ! But not as such. Because the baby is fully connected with mom throughout the pregnancy and because an orgasm involves many physical and physiological reactions , your baby feels it. Acceleration of heart rate and breathing, contractions of the pelvic floor and secretion by the brain of dopamine, endorphin and oxytocin, all of this is perceptible in utero. But rest assured, baby doesn't think in terms of sexual relations, but rather, perhaps, of sensory fireworks and well-being.

Can orgasm be dangerous for the baby?

Experiencing an orgasm can, in very rare cases, cause unwanted uterine contractions. A situation generally anticipated by your doctor, who will have prescribed rest and a certain degree of abstinence during all or part of the pregnancy.

In most cases, the female orgasm would rather tend to lead to an additional supply of oxygen and nutrients for the baby , who would experience this moment of maternal fullness as a sort of little massage .

Can the sex of the unborn baby be influenced by the parents' sexual preferences?

No, your sexual preferences do not determine the sex of your unborn child. The baby's sex is determined when the egg is fertilized by a sperm, using the 23rd chromosome, X or Y.

However, according to scientific studies conducted during the 1960s by Dr. Landrum Brewer Shettles , the timing of sexual intercourse may matter. According to him, Y sperm (which give rise to a boy) are faster and less resistant. Intercourse closer to the ovulation period would therefore have a greater chance of leading to the birth of a boy. Sexual positions favoring deep penetration could also benefit the Y sperm, by allowing it to reach the egg more easily.

Can we have intercourse until the end?

Medically speaking, there is no deadline for sexual intercourse during pregnancy . Fluctuating hormones, fatigue and an increasingly large maternal belly may, however, push you to adapt your sexuality, especially in the third trimester.

Can making love trigger labor?

According to the majority of observations, it seems that childbirth is triggered neither by the frequency nor by the intensity of intercourse between the couple. In 2007, three researchers from the University of Malaysia demonstrated, using a sample of 200 pregnant women in the 3rd trimester of their pregnancy, that the rate of spontaneous onset of labor remained the same, whether or not they had sexual intercourse. with their spouse.

Does making love increase the risk of miscarriage?

Again, the answer is no. Sexual intercourse does not increase the risk of miscarriage since the baby is well protected in the uterus by the amniotic fluid, the placenta and the mucous plug in particular.

Sex during pregnancy: questions surrounding the couple

Is orgasm easier to achieve while pregnant?

Without being systematically stronger or more present, yes, orgasm is easier to achieve and often more intense during pregnancy for the simple and biological reason that the entire genital and pelvic region is engorged with blood. The vulva and vagina are therefore much more sensitive to stimulation than normal.

Having new and numerous fantasies during pregnancy, is this normal?

To the question of whether it is normal to have new fantasies and even just fantasies, the answer is yes, whatever the period .

To the question of whether pregnancy causes more fantasies and whether they are different, the answer is: it depends. Because your libido fluctuates wildly throughout the nine months spent waiting for your child and because your body and your relationship to it also changes, you may go through different periods during which you will be very aroused with many fantasies in mind. , or not at all interested in sex.

Which sexual positions should be favored depending on the trimester of pregnancy?

In the first trimester , it is mainly fatigue and nausea that force you to change the frequency or duration of your intercourse. When it comes to positions, everything is still allowed , taking into account that your breasts could be more sensitive than usual and even painful.

The second trimester is undoubtedly the one where sexuality is the most unbridled. Physiologically, the body lends itself to this: the vagina, clitoris and breasts are receptive to the smallest caress and female orgasms, often more intense than before. Despite this, your stomach is starting to round out and you must adapt. The positions of spooning and doggy style are then all indicated, since your companion is standing behind you. Andromache also encourages you to ride him, if you are comfortable with the idea.

In the third trimester , if the desire is still present, there is nothing stopping you from continuing your antics. To do this, think above all about your comfort, to avoid back pain and excessive stretching of the abdominals. The lotus , the square or the anvil are to be tested, to enjoy a little more.

When pregnant, why do I cry after orgasm?

It's difficult to give a real reason for crying after an orgasm or after making love. If female sexuality is intimately linked to emotions and hormones , the brain is no stranger to it either (it is also a question of neuroscience). A crossroads which sometimes gives rise to surprising reactions. Spontaneous tears that can flow during pregnancy, but also outside.

Do physical changes during pregnancy affect desire?

Yes, and that's normal. From the announcement of the pregnancy to the birth of your child, many stages will follow one another, all more or less new and all very different.

A first trimester marked by nausea and fatigue, where sex takes second place. A much more fulfilling second trimester where the libido skyrockets. A third trimester where fatigue makes a comeback accompanied by stress, back and leg pain in particular, and an increasingly bulky stomach.

These numerous modifications impact your vision of yourself, your feelings and your sexual desire in one direction or the other. Taking time for yourself and listening to your body will help you get through the biggest moments of doubt.

The desire of the future father can also change, being increased tenfold by the pregnancy and the beauty of his partner's new curves, or on the contrary disappearing, notably for fear of hurting the baby.

In each case, showing listening, patience and tenderness towards each other will allow you to envisage a more serene intimate reunion when the time is right.

How to live, explain and accept the absence of desire during pregnancy?

For some couples, it happens that the desire fades quickly after the announcement of the arrival of a child and that the subscribers remain absent. If the future parents are in tune, a new form of intimacy is created over the months, while waiting, postpartum, for the return of physical relations. If this is not the case, incomprehension and tensions can arise and complicate the relationship between a future father who is waiting and a future mother who is experiencing a certain guilt. Here again, discussion, listening and patience are among the keys to a harmonious relationship, even subject to the tumults of pregnancy.

Can we use sex toys during pregnancy?

Sex toys are absolutely not prohibited for pregnant women, on the contrary. Anything that feels good and relaxes – like the pregnant woman's kamasutra – is welcome during pregnancy. As a precaution, however, it is recommended to avoid vibrating objects (so put your little duck in the closet) whose ultrasound could have effects on the fetus. If necessary, the use of lubricant is also possible . We simply remember to adopt good hygiene with each use.

Are yeast infections more common in pregnant women?

Yes and that's normal. Due to the numerous hormonal upheavals encountered by women during their pregnancy (high levels of human chorionic gonadotropin [HCG], progesterone and estrogen in particular) it is common for the vaginal flora to be disrupted , which creates a favorable environment for development of mycoses .

If you experience itching, pain, abnormally abundant and/or odorous discharge, do not worry or feel embarrassed. However, consult your doctor without delay .

What to do in case of doubts or problems?

If you have the slightest doubt about a practice, a gesture, a habit, if you have questions related to sexuality during pregnancy, if you doubt, if you feel bad, if you feel guilty or even if pain occurs manifest at the time of intercourse or just after, talk to your midwife or gynecologist. While they may not be able to understand all of your emotions — you may have difficulty understanding yourself — they will reassure you about your health and that of your baby.

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