If there are announcements that turn a family's daily life upside down, the arrival of a baby is one of them. This announcement is all the more important when a child is already present. A child who, unlike his or her parents, has not necessarily wanted the family to grow. To prepare for the arrival of a new sibling and ensure that everything goes as smoothly as possible, Élhée advises you to give your eldest some time and to think ahead. But that's not all.
CONTENTS :
- When to announce the arrival of a little brother or sister?
- Taking the time of pregnancy to anticipate changes
- After the birth, organize the meeting
- Encouraging fraternal bonds
- A new baby in the sibling family: a regression phase familiar to paediatricians
- What about jealousy? How do you deal with it?
When to announce the arrival of a little brother or sister?
For children, time seems much longer than for parents. So there's no point in announcing your pregnancy too early. Especially as you may prefer to wait until you've passed the 12-week mark to reassure yourself. A good benchmark? The first really visible curves in your belly, around 4 to 5 months.
In terms of form, prefer a simple, family-style announcement, so that your child feels included in what is - even if he or she is not yet aware of it - a big event. Choose natural words and positive formulas to share the message of good news, of something light and exciting to look forward to, like a party.
Smile, cuddle your child and trivialize the whole thing as much as possible, so that he or she doesn't experience this birth as a revolution to be feared.
If you have several children, it's a bit different. The older ones have already experienced this situation, and it's not impossible that they'll feel you coming from a distance with your announcement 😊. In that case, imagine a game, like a big riddle, and see who figures it out first.
Taking the time of pregnancy to anticipate changes
As you know, the arrival of a baby will change many things. Free time, organization, autonomy... your first-born will have to grow up a little faster. His or her role in the family will evolve: from being the only child, he or she will become the new baby's older brother or sister. In a sibling family, it's the youngest child who loses his or her place to take the middle one. And this evolution, whatever it may be, is rarely easy. That's why pregnancy is such a precious time for anticipating questions and reactions.
These few months are more than ever an opportunity to talk, toexplain, to create a kind of birth bubble and to strengthen the bond between you and your child, but also between your child and the baby to come. This new pregnancy gives you the opportunity to experience things differently and to imagine a new motherhood, with your child.
Involve him at his level. Offer to talk to the baby through your belly, sing him lullabies or feel his strokes when he gives one. Choose the future cuddly toy together, and let him have the last word. The important thing is that your little one slowly understands that his place is changing, but that he retains all your love. A baby is coming, but you're going to take care of him with the same attention and, together, you'll be able to do new things, big things.
After the birth, organize the meeting
As you know, the big day is likely to be hectic. You won't have time to take care of your child, and Dad will also be quite busy. If you can, ask your grandparents for help, or, failing that, friends with whom your little one feels perfectly at ease.
Beforehand, explain what's going to happen ("when the baby's born, you're going to spend a day or two with Grandma and Grandpa, then we'll all go home together"). This way, your child will feel less stressed and rushed.
Then organize the meeting in complete privacy, simply in the presence of your partner and children. What's more, if the older child is already at home when you get home from the maternity ward, or if he or she arrives at the same time as you, they'll be all the prouder to welcome their sibling.
Élhée, transmissible baby bottles to share
A meeting that could be the occasion for a first bottle feeding? If your child is old enough to understand, ask him to share one of his Élhée bottles with the newborn, and why not help you give it to him.
Flexible, break-proof and therefore very safe, dishwasher and even microwave-safe, BibRonds Élhée are also durable and healthy, as they are made from quality materials such as medical-grade silicone (guaranteed without microplastic migration). They can therefore be easily passed on to siblings.
What's more, the Élhée bottle can not only be passed on between brothers and sisters, it's also an evolutionary bottle. That's right! Your eldest child can use it as a potty for purées, while your newborn can use our birth bottle with the (XS) "extra-slow" flow or (S) "slow" flow teats, to drink his milk.
And to cover all situations, BibRond also fits Avent and Medela breast pumps and bottle warmers , and can be transformed into a training cup thanks to its non-leak silicone suction spout.
Encouraging fraternal bonds
In the same way that motherhood and fatherhood are not innate states, the bond between brothers and sisters is built, little by little. The essence of this alchemy lies in the relationship between parents and between parents and children.
In a peaceful home, kindness and fraternal relations are natural. So, as far as possible, it's up to you, as parents, to helpcreate, cultivate and maintain a gentle atmosphere, conducive to exchanges, bonding and the creation of beautiful memories.
3 tips to prepare for the arrival of a baby if your eldest is less than two years old
Even if he's still small and doesn't speak very well yet, your child understands everything, especially if it comes from you. So you can talk to him about the baby to come, just make sure you're clear and pragmatic.
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Use simple, graphic language, such as "Mommy's got a baby in her tummy" instead of "Mommy's pregnant". As the pregnancy progresses, share with him tangible advances such as the baby's first movements. Tell him that the baby is moving, and if he wants, put his hand on your belly to let him feel it.
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Play with your child's doll to help him or her "materialize" the baby. Carrying her, cuddling her, giving her a bottle, kissing her... These are all gestures that she will gradually be able to perform "for real" with her unborn brother or sister.
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Make time for him, for his questions, his needs and his emotions. Put yourself in his shoes: up until now, he's been the center of all attention, and now he's being robbed of the limelight by a baby he didn't ask for. Even though he'll soon love him with all his heart, listening, love and patience are always welcome.
3 tips to prepare for the arrival of a baby if your eldest is over two years old
With an older child, fears and questions are likely to be more frequent. Books and photos can help you prepare for baby's arrival in the best possible conditions.
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Read and tell stories about the birth of a sibling and the role of a big brother or sister. Knowing is reassuring and allows even the youngest children to project themselves into the future.
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Reassure your child or children of your undying love for them. Tell them that your heart as a mother is infinitely big, and that your feelings are never divided, but multiplied by all the little joys each one brings you.
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Talk to her about her own birth. For example, show him photos of the maternity ward and his first days or months. This will make it easier for him to understand that he was, is and will remain a family treasure, just like the new baby.
In any case, whatever the age of your eldest child or children, take advantage of pregnancy and maternity leave to spend plenty of time with your family. As far as possible, and because you'll still be less present and available once baby's born, take the opportunity to hand over the day-to-day tasks to your partner (dressing, brushing teeth, eating, bedtime stories... he knows how to do all that too, it's time he realized it 😉 ).
A new baby in the sibling family: a regression phase familiar to paediatricians
Since baby was born, your eldest child has started wetting the bed again, sucking his thumb or refusing to fall asleep on his own. This is more often the case if your children are close in age, and it's normal. Pediatricians refer to this as a regression phase.
Generally short-lived, this very common period only exists because older children are looking to attract all the attention back to themselves. In reality, they need to be sure that their parents still love them as much as before.
The best attitude, even if it's not always easy to adopt, especially as the post-delivery period is naturally a delicate one for you too, is to play it down and let go of these little setbacks. Don't feel guilty either: your first-born just needs a little time to find his or her place and make sure that everything's going well, despite this huge family change.
What about jealousy? How do you deal with it?
Here again, in a sibling family, especially a new one, feelings of jealousy are normal. Because baby takes up so much space, because he attracts everyone's attention and, above all, because he takes up so much of your time, your older child may feel jealous and even a little angry towards him.
While we now know that it's pointless asking one child to love another ("give him kisses", "look how nice a baby is"), respect must be the order of the day. No hitting, no biting, no shoving, no ignoring. Over time, the rule applies both ways. Likewise, every child has the right to his or her own private space, toys and time with Mom and Dad. In this way, any tensions should gradually ease.
And don't worry, your children won't just start lending each other their Elhée bottles, they'll soon be old enough to swap their best tricks - enough to make you lose your patience fast!
