Of course, a pacifier isn't essential. But in certain situations, it can prove invaluable. From birth, many babies show a natural need to suck, which helps them calm down, fall asleep… and according to some studies, pacifier use could even help reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome .
But here's the thing: despite all its benefits, your baby refuses the pacifier , spits it out, or turns away from it as soon as you offer it. Confusion, frustration, doubt… Rest assured, this refusal is perfectly normal. And there are simple and respectful ways to better understand what's going on… and perhaps even help your little one take to it if they feel the need.
SUMMARY :
- Upstream, the sucking need of infants
- Why is my baby refusing the pacifier?
- How to (re)introduce a pacifier successfully?
- Pacifier and breastfeeding: finding the right balance
- Choochoo: the physiological pacifier adapted to baby's needs
Upstream, the sucking need of infants
If a baby needs a pacifier (or their thumb), it's to satisfy a non-nutritive sucking need that soothes them and reinforces their sense of security. Conversely, nutritive sucking is an innate reflex developed during pregnancy for suckling milk, whether from the breast or a bottle.
Depending on the baby, the need to suck can be more or less pronounced, which explains why some need a pacifier less, but not why others refuse it.
Why is my baby refusing the pacifier?
- Inappropriate shape : the chosen pacifier is not suitable for the baby, he/she does not like it because it is too big, too thick or because of its smell.
- Unpleasant odor : the pacifier smells of something. This is often the case with rubber. Conversely, the medical-grade silicone used to make the Choochoo has the advantage of being completely odorless.
- Pain in the mouth : teething, canker sores, irritations… can make sucking painful.
- Respiratory discomfort : a cold or a blocked nose may make sucking difficult.
- Breastfeeding : what if he simply prefers the breast?
- Gastroesophageal reflux : because of GERD , the pacifier may be associated with the pain of acid reflux.
- Poor sucking reflex : an immature sucking reflex can lead to incorrect tongue positioning. In this case, extra-thin physiological teats, such as the Choochoo, can facilitate learning to suck thanks to their flexibility.
And what about the unexpected refusal?
Suddenly, baby no longer wants his pacifier? Tonight, impossible to give it to him, whereas this morning he couldn't do without it? This sudden refusal can have several explanations.
Some babies enjoy their pacifier for a while and then develop other preferences, especially between 3 and 6 months when they may turn to their thumb , a cuddly toy or a swaddle for comfort.
This change can also be linked to a new routine , such as starting nursery or a change of nanny, situations to which babies each react in their own way.
Between 4 and 6 months , a period of intense exploration, your little one may also show less interest in sucking in favor of discovering the world with their hands and through their toys.
Finally, sometimes it's simply the beginning of natural weaning : the baby finds their own ways to soothe themselves and no longer needs to suckle for comfort. If this refusal is deliberate and doesn't cause frustration, simply leave the pacifier available and offer it occasionally, without insisting.
As parents, managing without stressing
The problem will likely arise when it comes to sleep if your baby refuses a pacifier. If they're used to falling asleep with a pacifier , they're likely to cry. If they're not using one yet, that might be why you want to give it to them.
Why is it important to stay calm?
- Babies are very sensitive to their parents' stress . If they sense that you are worried or frustrated, it can upset them even more.
- If he refuses the pacifier, it doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem , but perhaps just because he's changing, because he's growing up. See it as a good thing!
Life with a baby is full of milestones and developments. Don't panic at each one. Wait, observe, and don't immediately assume there's a problem (but stay attentive). These disruptions may be temporary.
How to (re)introduce a pacifier successfully?
If your baby refuses the pacifier or has recently given it up and you want to (re)introduce it, we have several practical tips to suggest.
Testing different pacifiers: making the right choice is essential
Just as you might prefer small oval spoons to round ones, and forks with shorter tines, your baby probably has a preference for shape. of material and size for her pacifier .
What you can try:
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Change shape : Some pacifiers are rather round and close to the nipple, others are flatter and symmetrical (anatomical), and still others (orthodontic and physiological) like the Choochoo, offer a domed side adapted to the shape of the palate, and a flatter side to rest on the tongue.
- Vary the material : soft and transparent silicone or more natural rubber, but also more odorous.
- Check the size : 0-6 months, 6-12 months, or 6-18 months, depending on the brand. A pacifier that is too large or too rigid can be uncomfortable.
Elhée tip: if your baby is bottle-fed, choose a pacifier that looks like the nipple of their bottle.
Offer him the lollipop when he is calm
To prevent your child from associating the pacifier with stress or pain, avoid giving it to them or offering it again when they are crying or agitated. While these are usually appropriate times, after a pacifier refusal, It's best to adapt a little .
The best times to try:
- Right after the meal, when baby is calm, relaxed and perhaps ready to fall asleep.
- During a hug or if you are holding it skin-to-skin.
- Before naptime or bedtime, especially if you see him seeking help to calm down.
Tip: present the pacifier to him by gently placing it against his lower lip and see if he grabs it himself.
Associate the pacifier with a pleasant sensation
It's perfectly possible that your baby is refusing the pacifier because it seems pointless. You can therefore try to spark or rekindle their interest.
How to get a baby to accept a pacifier?
- Place a few drops of breast milk or infant formula on top (never sugar or jam).
- Try using the pacifier yourself for a few sucks. Baby might want to imitate you?
- Offer it to him while rocking him or singing him a nursery rhyme, to associate the pacifier with a sweet, pleasant and comforting moment.
Play with the pacifier to encourage him/her
For children and adults alike, everything is easier to accept with play. So why not try making the lollipop fun? Who knows, it might work.
Some tips to make your baby laugh:
- If he takes it and keeps it in his mouth for a little while, gently pull on the pacifier (while smiling, laughing, talking to him) to stimulate his sucking reflex.
- Pretend to take his lollipop away and give it back to him so that he will ask for it himself.
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Try placing the baby in front of a mirror with their pacifier. Perhaps they'll enjoy looking at themselves with it ?
Be patient and observe.
Can your child do without a pacifier, or do they simply dislike it? To find out, observe them, especially when they are tired . If they refuse to take it, give them their comfort object and soothe them by rocking or holding them until they discover their own self-soothing strategies.
Pacifier and breastfeeding: finding the right balance
Using a pacifier with a breastfed baby often raises questions. It is even regularly discouraged, particularly because of the risk of nipple confusion and the alternation between the two sucking methods, which could disrupt breastfeeding.
However, this confusion, which isn't really confusion at all, isn't systematic. For example, we know that in Denmark, where 90% of babies are breastfed , pacifier use is widespread. Furthermore, various studies show that the proper introduction of a pacifier (once breastfeeding is well established) does not disrupt breastfeeding.
- Wait until breastfeeding is fully established , which is usually after 4 to 6 weeks.
- Observe your baby and learn to separate nutritional needs from sucking needs.
- Choose a suitable teat that does not impact sucking.
- Offer the pacifier in moderation , at bedtime or to meet a need for soothing.
- Encourage good positioning at the breast to facilitate baby's sucking.
By taking these few precautions, it is perfectly possible to use a pacifier without compromising the success of breastfeeding . The key? Consider it a comforting supplement and use it sparingly.
Choochoo: the physiological pacifier adapted to baby's needs
For the well-being of all babies, Élhée designs its physiological pacifiers in France , with particular attention paid to their comfort and development. Soft, gentle, and exceptionally thin, the ChooChoo offers optimal comfort to infants from their very first days.
- A design made for babies
- Asymmetrical physiological shape : convex on the palate side and flat on the tongue side, to prevent open bite.
- Ultra-thin teat for a natural mouth closure.
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Ventilated collar for easier breathing and less skin irritation.
- Available in 2 sizes: 0-6 months for newborns and 6 months and over for slightly older babies .
- Safety and quality
- The first pacifier made entirely of medical-grade silicone , in one piece and without detachable parts.
- Free from BPA, BPS and controversial substances .
- Compliant with the strictest safety standards .
Thanks to its unique, orthodontist-approved design, the Choochoo is a perfect complement to breastfeeding or bottle-feeding. Ready to try a physiological pacifier designed for baby's comfort?
When should you stop insisting and give up on the pacifier?
Despite several attempts, changing models, playing games, and taking breaks… your baby categorically refuses to take or resume the pacifier? It may be time to accept that it simply doesn't suit them or that they don't want it anymore (yes, it's sad)… and that's perfectly normal!
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3 signs that baby doesn't need a pacifier anymore
- He spits it out every time and seems unresponsive to its touch.
- He prefers to calm himself in other ways , with a cuddly toy, through skin-to-skin contact, babywearing, or even by sucking his fingers.
- He falls asleep easily without nursing for reassurance.
Your baby is unique, with their own preferences and little habits that make them so special. As a parent of siblings , you know that while some find happiness in a pacifier, others prefer to do without it. The important thing is to let your child explore their own sources of comfort , whether they find solace snuggled up against you or simply drifting peacefully off to sleep in their own little world. Trust their instincts to show you what truly reassures them.
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