- Milk Blues: On the difficulty of ending breastfeeding
- When baby decides on his own not to breastfeed anymore
- Take a step back and rationalize to better analyze
- A new stage is coming, how to be positive
Motherhood is often presented as an oasis of sweetness made of love, fulfillment and kindness. A wonderful and powerful experience between a mother and her child. However, throughout pregnancy and even after birth, each woman experiences different physical and psychological developments. Each is accompanied by multiple and sometimes ambivalent feelings . This is the case of the known and recognized baby blues, but also of the more confidential milk blues.
Appearing for the first time in 2019 at JollyMama , the term reveals a discomfort that is sometimes deep and long predates its discovery; that of post-breastfeeding depression .
Milk Blues: difficulty ending breastfeeding
It is often said that the weaning period can be complicated for babies. That they have difficulty leaving the mother's breast and taking the bottle. That eating becomes disordered and that a new balance can take a long time to find.
Conversely, there is still – too little – talk about the discomfort felt by some mothers. Forced weaning to return to work, drop in lactation , baby who no longer wants to breastfeed... A page is turning towards a new stage which can be experienced as a real separation . Nostalgia, sadness, feeling of failure, guilt, abandonment ... So many strong terms, often internalized and too rarely expressed, which make up the complexity of the milk blues.
Breastfeeding creates a very strong physical and emotional bond between a mother and her child. After spending many months curled up in the pit of her stomach, baby is now linked to her by the breast, whose lactation capacity is almost entirely stimulated by sucking.
The milk blues is made up of a multitude of complex feelings specific to each woman depending on her nature, her surroundings and her experiences.
When baby decides on his own not to breastfeed anymore
One day he takes the breast and the next day he categorically refuses to go back to it. He even cries when drinking your milk. Baby seems to have decided to wean and there's nothing you can do about it. His opposition may be categorical and definitive. You have to face the facts, the choice of a bottle and a physiological pacifier to replace breastfeeding has arrived.
A deep feeling of abandonment
Gentle weaning is always preferable. Otherwise, the feeding strike, as it is sometimes called, can be very difficult for the mother. The testimonies collected speak of pain, emptiness and a real emotional breakup , but also of dependence on breastfeeding.
The milk blues is a bit of all of that at the same time. The result of great upheaval, physical and psychological changes and the sum of many complicated emotions, which lead some mothers to experience the end of breastfeeding as a painful moment.
Take a step back and rationalize to better analyze
Pregnancy, breastfeeding and more broadly becoming a mother, generate different physical and emotional states that are not always easy to identify, experience and digest.
From the first impressions of vagueness, of complications, from the first feelings of less than good, take a break. Tell yourself that these sensations — however contradictory they may be — are normal. You are not the only one who feels them . Perhaps, on the other hand, you will be the first to mention them.
After baby has spent months in your womb, then months at your breast, a new stage is coming, without you really knowing what it will be like. Trust yourself and your little one. Together you will manage to find a new balance.
A new stage is coming: how to be positive
Weaning your baby makes you sad and already nostalgic. You hadn't expected it to happen so soon or you didn't see the time passing, absorbed as you were, in your bubble of love and serenity. Fortunately, nothing is final. You will soon rediscover your joy of living and your desire to communicate it.
Consider mixed breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is over. To prolong its benefits and especially if you do it with pleasure, you can express your milk and continue to give it to your child using their new bottle. If your baby is prone to colic, discover the different criteria for choosing the right bottle .
Take all the time you need
If you can, take time, as much time as you need to fully experience each stage of mixed breastfeeding. If weaning has already started, treat yourself to the luxury of long bottles , comfortably installed with a sling or skin-to-skin.
Treat yourself with pretty baby bottles
We have spent decades enduring the fragility and weight of glass baby bottles, then the poor quality of plastic bottles. A healthy and stylish baby bottle was expected.
A mother who breastfeeds develops and maintains with her child a deeply emotional gesture that is now possible to continue beyond breastfeeding thanks to the sensory bottle . Between softness and roundness, this beautiful object has the aesthetics of the nourishing breast.
Treat yourself to moments just for you
Because quitting breastfeeding also means adopting a new schedule and taking advantage of a few small periods of regained independence, schedule moments of well-being and pleasure for yourself.
Find at the bottom of a drawer the list of things that you had put on hold during your pregnancy; yoga, jogging, reading, (digital) exhibitions, manicure, massage… and put all these appointments back on the agenda, simply to enjoy and be positive.