Parenthood is a vast and fairly recent concept, encompassing emotional, legal, sociological, psychological and socio-educational aspects. the art of becoming and being a parent, in its entirety. Indeed, if the suffix -itéindicates quality or function, the word parentality comes from the Latin word parentem (father, mother), and the Latin verb parere (to beget). Parenthood is therefore twofold, intimately linked to the father and mother, and designed to engender, create and enrich the parent-child bond.
CONTENTS :
- Parenthood: a whole world to understand
- How is the parent-child bond built?
- Parent-child attachment: are mother and father so different?
- The father-child relationship: outward-looking and exploratory
Parenthood: a whole world to understand
Much more than just a word, parenthood is an ever-evolving universe in which parents and children evolve side by side. Strictly speaking, this concept describes the parent-child bond, whatever the family structure, and the rights and obligations of each.
Larenthood also encompasses a whole world of emotionsfeelings and upheavals that make up the daily life of a family. As such, parenthood can be fulfilling, new or plural, allowing everyone to find their place.
For Father's Day, Élhée has chosen to highlight the parent-child bond, so unique, so essential, and to focus in particular on the relationship between fathers and their children.
How is the parent-child bond built?
First of all, it's impossible to talk about attachment theory without mentioning John Bowlby. A British psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, John dedicated his career to understanding the mother-child relationship. In his view, unique bonds are forged between babies and their caregivers (from the English to care, prendre soin and givers).
In 1969, he published the first volume of his trilogy Loss and Attachment. It was in this first book, published by Presses Universitaires de France and entitled AttachmentBowlby laid the foundations of his theory: the infant's attachment to the person or persons who care for him is instinctive. According to Bowlby, the need for attachment is innate, and the bond is built essentially through everyday interactions.
Every time there's stress, fatigue, hunger, pain, an unfamiliar place or noise... the attachment system kicks in, and the child cries or expresses fear. The attachment figure (usually, but not necessarily, the mother) responds to reassure the child.
4 types of parent-child attachment bonds
If availability, reliability, consistency, affection and complicity are the pillars of secure attachment, Bowlby distinguishes a total of 4 types of parent-child bond (from the most secure to the least secure).
- Secure attachment: the child feels protected, understood, loved and accompanied.
- Insecure-ambivalent or fearful attachment: because parents lack stability or consistency, children detach and internalize.
- Insecure-avoidant or anxious attachment, born of an unbalanced relationship in which the child receives too few or too many signs of attachment.
- Disoriented or disorganized attachment: arises from unpredictable or inconsistent behavior on the part of parents or caregivers. It engenders mistrust and fear in the child.
In adulthood, children with positive attachment experiences are more confident and more easily able to form stable, quality relationships.
For parents, weaving the bond of attachment ever more carefully is also good for you! It reinforces the trust and benevolence you can show towards yourself.
Parent-child attachment: are mother and father so different?
According to Bowlby, there is a hierarchy of affective ties between the child and his or her caregivers. However, although the mother is often the main attachment figure, there's nothing to suggest that the father can't take his place. However, the studies carried out to analyze and understand the father-child bond are far fewer in number.
Miljkovitch & Pierrehumbert in their study "Le père est-il l'égal de la mère?" suggest that the father has different qualities as an attachment figure. Among other things, the father plays an essential role in the child's autonomy and openness to the outside world.
The father-child relationship: outward-looking and exploratory
According to Carole Gagnon, a doctoral student at the Université de Montréal's School of Psychoeducation, the parent-child attachment relationship has two main aspects: closeness and exploration. While the mother represents closeness, the father represents exploration and autonomy through initiative, play and discovery.
Danielle Paquette, in her publication "La relation père-enfant et l'ouverture au monde" (The father-child relationship and openness to the world), speaks of a father-child activation relationship, complementing the soothing mother-child attachment relationship. The father, through his support for the mother and his accompaniment of the children's explorations, is the one who brings self-confidence and confidence in their abilities, as well as serenity in the face of the world.
So, while the mother accompanies her child in times of difficulty, the father considers him more likely to be able to manage on his own. It's this complementarity that makes the parent-child, mother-child and father-child bond so beautiful, each in their own way.
For Father's Day, Élhée would like to remind us of the importance of honoring the man, the companion, the partner, the dad. More than ever, through the celebration of parenthood, it's time to give him, restore him or create for him, a place of choice at the heart of the relationship between mother and parent-child.
