Bienveillance : comment se faire confiance en tant que parent - Élhée

Kindness: how to trust yourself as a parent


  • To be confident, be good to yourself
  • Becoming a parent alongside your child
  • 5 confidence-boosting tips

Since your child was born, you have been constantly adjusting daily life, limits and your speech. Experiencing moments of doubt and questioning is therefore normal. However, when uncertainty turns to hesitation, perplexity or apprehension, everything becomes complicated. Fortunately, learning to be kind to yourself is one of the keys to moving forward and trusting yourself more easily as a parent.

To be confident, be good to yourself

First, because Caring for a baby takes a lot of energy . Also, never feel guilty about taking time for yourself, or sleeping whenever you can. Feeling good in your body, in tune with your life, helps you to make the right decisions and to have confidence in yourself.

Then, because being good to yourself gives you room to make mistakes. And it's by accepting to make mistakes, by agreeing to do your best, that you learn to discover yourself, to master your new role and to gain confidence in yourself, alongside your child.

Demystifying the role of the “good parent” is perhaps the first thing to do. A good parent is undoubtedly a parent who loves their child, who takes care of their health, their well-being, their peace of mind and their safety. With its qualities, its history, its flaws and its defects. At no time do you have to be perfect. Unless your name is Mary Poppins.

Becoming a parent alongside your child

“We are not born a parent, we become one.” Rarely has a sentence rang so true. It's true, there is no lesson or magic recipe to follow for becoming a parent. Learning happens gradually, over time and experience.

Like all parents, you ask yourself questions and you make mistakes. But you get to know yourself and your child. Looking at him. By rocking him. By dressing him. While sleeping. Slowly, you learn to recognize his cries and cries. You know what he likes to eat and what type of music he wants to listen to. But, because it changes over the months, you doubt and start again.

To succeed, you must have confidence in yourself, trust your intuition and only listen to the little voice that tells you that you are on the right path .

5 confidence-boosting tips

Trust yourself and recognize your worth

It's time to list everything you have achieved and what you do well with your child. Write down your strengths . Remember what he or she loved. Value yourself instead of always praising the successes of other parents. Self-confidence is not innate, you have to work on it.

Let go and distance yourself from criticism

Some points of view and other feedback are interesting, but not all. To gain confidence, sort between grandmother's advice, stories that only belong to those who have lived them and real caring tips.

Take care of yourself and prioritize your efforts

Rest , sleep as soon as possible, move, eat well and, if you can, establish a hierarchy in your “To do list” for days of urgency or discouragement. Running the dishwasher or folding laundry can wait until you're done playing with your baby (unless there's a shortage of plates or underwear, which really doesn't happen often!).

To have self-confidence, give yourself the right to make mistakes

Every day your child learns. You too. To become his parent. And to learn well, you have to make mistakes. It doesn't matter if you're late for an appointment or if he stains his pajamas on the road and you don't have anything to change them. Trust yourself and take responsibility for how you manage everyday life .

Gain confidence and stay yourself

Parenting is not a competition . Being a parent is lived and felt day by day. You don't need to be a perfect mother , firstly because your child doesn't need it, then because the gaze of others takes second place, or third, or maybe even fourth and more, in relation to the happiness of your child.

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