Pregnancy and then motherhood change the body and soul of women. If some upheavals are not irremediable, others leave traces with which we must learn to live and love ourselves again. Self love is a bit of all that. The passing of time and its effects, life and its imprint, but despite everything, self-love stronger than anything.
- At the beginning, a definition: what is self love?
- Pregnancy, postpartum and self-love: how to put it all together?
- Self-image, the mirror of self-love
- Cultivate self-love, against all odds
At the beginning, a definition: what is self love?
Literally, self love means to love oneself . But, this concept, halfway between personal development and spirituality, goes much further. Self love is above all the full acceptance of who you really are , without disguise .
Practicing self-love means stopping blaming yourself, bullying yourself, resenting yourself or wanting to change yourself. Self love is the unconditional love you have for your baby, applied to yourself .
As such, self-love is therefore particularly important during pregnancy and afterwards, throughout the postpartum period, when the female body and mind are subjected to harsh tests, subject to numerous changes and frequently, 'exhaustion.
Pregnancy, postpartum and self-love: how to put it all together?
The ills of pregnancy - nausea, vomiting, constipation, varicose veins or vaginal discharge - make women go through different states that are more or less easy to live with and more or less lenient with their image . If the second trimester of pregnancy is often the most popular, the first and last are generally marked by significant fatigue and the signs that accompany it: dull hair, dark circles, dull complexion, etc.
After birth, during the postpartum period , bleeding, urinary leakage and hair loss can be difficult to cope with . Add to that the pounds of pregnancy, the body that is now often different and the lack of time for oneself... an imbalance is easily created between the image that the young mother perceives of herself and what she really is.
Self love intervenes here as a personal therapy to be put in place as early as possible and which consists of real indulgence and self-love, benevolent and unconditional , whatever the stages of life.
Please note, self love has nothing to do with selfishness or self-centeredness. On the contrary, it is about loving yourself as much as you love others. To give your needs and priorities the same urgency as theirs. Because to love others well, you have to start by loving yourself.
Self-image, the mirror of self-love
If sometimes self-love is innate, most of the time self-love needs to be worked on. For everyone, it can be cultivated. Compared to self-confidence, this powerful feeling takes root in childhood , but so much is not sufficiently valued.
In 2021, the brand TheBodyShop rates self-love at 53/100 in a study of which it has the secret. Women then report feeling more nervous, anxious and depressed than men, while around the world, 6 out of 10 people wish to feel more respect towards themselves. Respondents also indicate that social media and the beauty industry negatively impact their self-image.
Fortunately, gradually the “mommy internet”, the internet of mothers, is breaking the pre-established codes of motherhood and telling anyone who will listen that everything is not rosy and that nothing is normal anymore . So, if you feel like you're not doing enough, not being strong enough, not capable enough, not effective enough or not beautiful enough... it's because your need for self-love is urgent.
While motherhood is undoubtedly the most overwhelming moment in a woman's life, when learning is as numerous as challenges, sometimes the period is conducive to a deterioration of personal image. We're talking about disenchantment. Postpartum depression is also closely linked to this state.
Accept yourself and demonstrate objectivity
To avoid postpartum depression and more generally to enjoy life to the fullest, self-love and self-esteem are two essential pillars . Here are three tips to try quickly.
Become her best friend
When your best friend needs you, you're there. You comfort him or her, you tell him or her that everything will work out and that no, he or she didn't mess up everything. Have the same indulgence towards yourself !
Congratulate yourself often
Every day you accomplish beautiful things, become aware of this. Between professional success and a bonding moment spent with your child, be proud of your positive actions and keep them in mind in anticipation of small “blues”.
Always respect each other
Shall we make you a proposal? If it interests you, great. If not, don't be afraid to say no and respect your feelings and opinions. If you don't do it, how do you expect others to do it?
Free yourself from outside eyes
The opinion of others is just one opinion among many and above all, it comes after yours. Whatever you do, whatever you decide, you will always find someone who thinks otherwise. Put outside opinions aside and become your own judge.
Cultivate self-love, against all odds
You will have understood, practicing self love is loving yourself , offering yourself indulgence , kindness and understanding on a daily basis . As a mother or future mother, it also means allowing yourself to be tired, fed up and crying, to delegate to your partner or to have the need to let go and get some fresh air without waiting, without feeling guilty. .
However, on a daily basis, self-love often takes second place. Here are three proven tips to accompany you on the path to meeting yourself.
Start a self love notebook and write down why you love yourself
You like mantras, positive quotes and feel-good Post-its, you will love the self love notebook. To start in the first months of pregnancy, even before the first physical and hormonal changes and above all, before asking yourself too many questions.
After covering the why of self love, its usefulness and the basics of positive psychology, the self love workbook offers you numerous practical exercises. Inside you will find everything you need to love, respect and honor your female body, love the person you are and fully welcome her.
Treat yourself to a photo shoot and feel beautiful
To take a kind look at your body, what could be better than a self love photo session under the eye of a professional photographer? To help you see your body from a new angle, to highlight its assets and allow you to leave with a smile , photography has no equal.
Pregnancy photos to immortalize the expectation of your baby or portrait photos after his birth, choose the session that lifts your heart and let yourself be guided.
Seek inspiration from personal development literature
Self love literature is full of titles, each more encouraging than the last, of which here are some often recommended references:
- My oracle book Self Love - To dare to love yourself and reveal yourself; Elodie Leclercq and Justine Criquioche-Louveau published by Le Courrier du Livre
- Heal your emotional wounds ; John Gray published by J'ai Lu
- Self Love The Oracle Book ; Maud Albertini published by Le lotus & L'Éléphant
- Self-esteem, self-confidence, self-love - The three pillars of success: Patrice Ras published by Jouvence
These works offer a step-by-step approach to the concept, theoretical and detailed learning, a sort of “How To self love” or “How to learn to love yourself” that can be pleasant to read and reread when the need arises .
To concludeHow to practice self love?
Self love is practiced by showing kindness, positivity and gentleness towards you.How to cultivate self-love?
To cultivate self-love, start by taking time for yourself, letting go of everything you don't control, congratulating yourself on your successes and focusing your attention on what is most beautiful about you.How to set up a self-love routine during pregnancy?
To accompany the physical changes, fatigue and doubts linked to pregnancy, treat yourself to some special moments, some time just for you, a photo shoot, an appointment with the hairdresser, whatever makes you happy, and celebrate yourself! You who are about to give life.